Cut Part Two

Saturday was Day 30 since reducing dose. The morning after the Friday night before.

I hadn't slept particularly well and I woke up first. I kept my arm hidden while my mind raced. What should I say to H?

It was some time until she woke up, and when she did it wasn't long until we had both apologised to each other. We talked for a while and I said that I felt that I needed to go back to the doctor soon after our break away. She agreed. I also said that I thought I may need more counselling. She also agreed, suggesting that it may help while I'm 'weaning'. I half agreed – I suspect my GP may suggest that I go back up to 40mg per day.

Everything seemed calm.

'There is something I need to show you. Something that I cannot hide and I don't want you to see by accident. You don't have to react, you don't have to understand, just don't be angry or upset.'

Nerve-racking. For me to say and for her to here.

I showed her my arm.

H took it pretty well. She was obviously shaken and upset but didn't overreact or dramatise.

So, I have been wearing long sleeves ever since. Every now and then H asks to look and I prepare for a visit to the doctor.