Rollercoaster
Life with depression is like a rollercoaster. In fact, all life is like a rollercoaster. We just hope that when we get off we leave a good photo behind at the booth (either that or we find out the woman behind us was flashing, so we get keyrings made for all our friends).
If we take the view that a majority vote is acceptable, then yesterday was an excellent day. I had a day off with H and, after a short cycle in the morning, we decided to go to the zoo for her birthday treat. The place was full of babies, of most note being some incredibly cute baby gorillas.
We could have stood watching them for hours, being carried around in their mothers' hands, being breast-fed. The older children playing with their mothers, the silverback head of the family keeping an eye on everything. It was fascinating and beautiful. With such sad, big, brown eyes it is hard to describe gorillas as ever looking happy, but I got the impression that they were. I think evolution went too far and a simpler life would be better. Either that, or I was just born into the wrong species.
I went for my usual Thursday evening game of snooker with my father-in-law-to-be (part of my therapy – getting a new hobby and out of the house, and H's hair!). And then, for some reason that I do not know, I crashed down and came back not so much miserable, but pretty well grumpy.
This morning was no better, I felt very down and just could not motivate myself to do anything. I hit the snooze button on the alarm clock four times and on the fifth just switched it off. I had nothing urgent to do at work, no meetings I needed to be in, so I decided that rather than push myself, make myself even more tired and depressed, I needed a day off.
I had another lazy morning then, after lunch, decided to kick start my brain. An energetic 12.5 mile cycle around the hilly countryside in gorgeous sunshine. As the oxygen pumped through my brain I felt myself revived. I used to be able to cycle to work, sadly no longer an option, so it was good to get a real 'fix'.
Back up to 40mg, I think.
If we take the view that a majority vote is acceptable, then yesterday was an excellent day. I had a day off with H and, after a short cycle in the morning, we decided to go to the zoo for her birthday treat. The place was full of babies, of most note being some incredibly cute baby gorillas.
We could have stood watching them for hours, being carried around in their mothers' hands, being breast-fed. The older children playing with their mothers, the silverback head of the family keeping an eye on everything. It was fascinating and beautiful. With such sad, big, brown eyes it is hard to describe gorillas as ever looking happy, but I got the impression that they were. I think evolution went too far and a simpler life would be better. Either that, or I was just born into the wrong species.
I went for my usual Thursday evening game of snooker with my father-in-law-to-be (part of my therapy – getting a new hobby and out of the house, and H's hair!). And then, for some reason that I do not know, I crashed down and came back not so much miserable, but pretty well grumpy.
This morning was no better, I felt very down and just could not motivate myself to do anything. I hit the snooze button on the alarm clock four times and on the fifth just switched it off. I had nothing urgent to do at work, no meetings I needed to be in, so I decided that rather than push myself, make myself even more tired and depressed, I needed a day off.
I had another lazy morning then, after lunch, decided to kick start my brain. An energetic 12.5 mile cycle around the hilly countryside in gorgeous sunshine. As the oxygen pumped through my brain I felt myself revived. I used to be able to cycle to work, sadly no longer an option, so it was good to get a real 'fix'.
Back up to 40mg, I think.
posted by Anonymous at 16:30
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